Coming Undone Read online

  “There’s an awful lot you don’t know about me, Carly. And I already know about your whole fear of the water thing, so you don’t have to put up a brave front.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said quietly, as her throat tightened.

  You will not cry in fromt of him.

  “Admitting the problem is half the battle.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this, Hunt. I mean it.”

  “Look,” he said. “I can help you. Get you back in the water in ten easy steps.”

  “I’m not a project. And I can fix myself.”

  “By staying out of the water?”

  She stared him down, or attempted to, but he wasn’t backing down first. Neither was she. “I can’t be fixed with your euphemisms and your SEAL training. I’m not some grunt you can build up with a few words and some overbearing attitude. I’m not that simple.”

  “No, you’re not,” he agreed.

  “You have no idea what I’ve been through.” She stood, the anger rising hot and hard, the way it always did when she had this conversation with herself. She wasn’t sure if she was angrier with herself or with Hunt, but judging by the way she was feeling, he was going to get the brunt of it.

  “I know fear. I live with it every time I’m on a mission. It’s part of my career, the way it was built into a part of yours.”

  Her breathing was audibly harsh, grew worse at the way he talked about her career in the past tense. “This whole thing was a bad idea.”

  “Why? Because you have to face reality rather than run from it?” he asked.

  “I’m doing this myself. I got myself into this, I’m the only one who can get myself out of it.” She admitted, “I have a lot of fantasies involving you, but being saved by you isn’t one of them. Not like this.”

  Hunt gave her a long, hard look. Then he shook his head and propped the board back against the house, and walked down the path that led along the side of the house to her driveway.

  “Where are you going?” she shouted.

  “I’ve got places to be. People who need me,” he called over his shoulder.

  Carly’s stomach clenched as she followed his retreating form, then she curled her body into a deck chair and let the tears of frustration come.

  “YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD for someone who’s supposed to be on partial leave.” His CO, Captain Jason Andrews, aka Hollywood to his teammates when he wasn’t within earshot, drawled over Hunt.

  Hunt was doing one-armed push-ups in the gym, working off the mounting tension and confusion that even mind-blowing sex couldn’t stave off.Being saved by you isn’t one of them….

  Maybe he was the one who needed saving. Since what he hadn’t told anyone in his civilian life, including Ty, was the real reason his team had the R&R to begin with.

  The real reason his CO had insisted he and Cash, and the other members of the team, take time to get their heads together was that two of their teammates had been so badly injured during their last mission they’d never serve again. Hunt had faced it, dealt with it, had seen the base shrink as they’d all been required to do. He didn’t want to dwell on it.

  Yeah, he knew about fear.

  “I’m fine,” he told Jason, gritted his teeth and did another two push-ups in rapid succession to prove it to himself or his CO. He wasn’t sure. “Just. Freakin. Fine.” He collapsed to the mat, rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.

  Clearly his CO wasn’t buying it and neither was he. He’d been thinking all day that he should back out of Carly’s family’s party, before it occurred to him that he’d never crapped out on a commitment in his life. He’d made the decision to show. If she didn’t want him there, she could tell him to get lost.

  Jason crouched down next to him. “You did your personal best today on the swim.”

  “I know. And I beat everyone’s personal best, too.”

  “Modesty’s not one of your finer qualities.”

  Hunt grinned. “Felt good out there. Good to be back. We’re ready, you know.”

  “You were never not ready. You just have to know that things aren’t going to be the same. And that that’s all right. Nothing should ever stay the same, or life gets easy.”

  “Noted.”

  “So get the hell out of here and enjoy a few hours of peace.”

  Ah, Jason’s way of telling him that today had been the first in a series of readiness drills. Hopefully, he’d make it through most of the party before he got called in for a new mission. He wasn’t sure Carly’d understand, it was a chance he’d have to take. A lot of people didn’t, and those who did were keepers, as his married teammates attested to time and time again.

  “I’ll be in Vero,” he said.

  “With the woman who used to surf professionally?”

  “Cash needs to go through basic training again,” Hunt muttered.

  “He’s untrainable, but it’s amazing the intel he’ll give away when he’s trying to get out of paperwork,” Jason stated. “Are you very involved with her?”

  “Depends on what you mean by involved.”

  Jason crossed his arms and stared him down, and Hunt let go of the evade-and-escape act quickly. This man had forgotten more about the technique than Hunt could ever hope to learn. “Look, it’s a short-term thing. It’s not going to distract me.”

  “Sometimes we all need a distraction or two when it comes at the right time. Where, exactly, will you be tonight?”

  “A restaurant off the pier. I don’t remember the name.”

  His CO’s eyebrows rose. “Fancy party. Wear your tux.”

  Hunt had been to plenty of banquets before, and weddings and parties, so he owned his own tux, two of them actually, because not only did Jason insist that every grown-up man needed one, so did his SEALs.

  “I’ll make sure you’ve got a ride.” Jason’s final words were spoken as he made his way out the door.

  Yeah, he had a ride all right. One he’d signed on for and now couldn’t get off. Between Carly and the job and Ty distancing…

  Ah shit. He turned back over and started in with the push-ups again.

  SAMANTHA ALMOST GROANED out loud when David raised his hand in the back of the classroom.

  “I’ve got a question, Ms. G,” he called, as though she couldn’t see his waving arm.She motioned for him to speak, almost blushing with mild embarrassment because she knew what was about to happen.

  “Do you know how pretty you are?” he asked.

  She sighed and shook her head. Working with seventeen-year-olds had many, many facets, and crushes weren’t uncommon. But leave it to her star pupil to ask this one.

  The girls in the class groaned, and most of them turned to David and shook their heads.

  “David, let’s end this now,” she stated matter-of-factly.

  “I’m being serious. I’m not hittin’ on you or anything, but I’m stating a fact. You gotta know, right?”

  They started their careers in seduction so young these days. She began to tell him to cool it when she heard the unmistakable rumble outside her window.

  She hoped her students wouldn’t notice the noise, since they never noticed things she wanted them to notice, but a six-foot man dressed in black riding a vintage motorcycle was not something this group was going to ignore.

  The boys got up to check out the motorcycle, and the girls, to check out Ty. Who she was going to kill. Right after she got fired.

  “He says he’s here for you, Ms. G,” David called out. “And he agrees with me that you’re hot.”

  Well, in her estimation it was more than a little late for those kinds of lines. Days late. A full week of agonizing over what she’d done wrong was enough, she was so done with this dating thing. Not that she and Ty had even had a single date, which might account for the fact that he’d never called or got in touch with her since they’d spent that night together.

  At least Carly hadn’t said I told you so. And since her friend was still in c
ontact with Hunt, Sam hadn’t wanted to lay too much on her. Since, although Carly would deny it, she was falling for Hunt, and why should Carly be affected because Hunt’s brother was a total jerk?

  Sam sent her students back to their seats with promises of less homework and maybe even donuts in the morning if they could keep a secret. That meant by lunchtime the entire student body would know about Ms. G’s secret admirer. Let’s hope the teacher population would be slower on the uptake.

  She stood by the window, angling her body so she blocked him from crawling through. Her voice was low when she spoke. “Seriously, what do you think you’re doing, Ty? This is my job. You can’t show up here like this.”

  “You’re pissed I ran out,” he said. He looked tired, but no less handsome, his hair worn loose around his shoulders and his dark eyes meeting hers.

  “Yes, I am, but it still doesn’t change the fact that you shouldn’t be here.”

  “I always do things I shouldn’t, Samantha. I thought we covered that the other night.”

  “We covered a lot of things, but I expected you to at least be around in the morning to say goodbye. I didn’t think you’d be the kind to run out.”

  Ty shifted on the seat of his bike. “I assumed you’d have some second thoughts. And that’s okay. You gave me some nice memories.”

  “What are you trying to pull?”

  “I’m not pulling anything. If I’d known you’d be so upset I’d have stuck around, but I thought it’d be easier this way.”

  “And so you showed up at my school this morning because…”

  He paused, checked over her shoulder and then looked her right in the eye. “I missed you. Figured that’s not a good sign since it happened after I’d only been gone a few hours. Or maybe it’s not a bad sign, depending on what side of the window you’re on.”

  “If you felt that after just a few hours, why wait a week to get in touch with me?” she asked. He bowed his head to the ground for a minute, and when he returned his gaze to hers he still didn’t give her an answer.

  “David, sit down,” she commanded without even looking back. Ty gave a small smile, so David had indeed been out of his seat and approaching the window.

  Sam realized she was in big trouble here—on her side of the window. But she’d known that the second she’d met Ty. “I’ll see you after class,” she told him. “At my place. It’s got to be after five though because I have to help with drama practice.”

  “Am I in trouble, Ms. G?” he asked, with a lot of hope in his voice.

  “Let’s say that you’re in dire need of some after-school tutoring.” Then she closed the window and watched through the glass as he rode away.

  18

  GLASS-OFF, AS IT WAS known in surf-speak, was the period in the early evening when the ocean looked smooth enough to skate on. It was one of the best times to surf, and one of the quietest, too. When the day met the night, dusk settled in and anything was possible.

  Now, with the pre-wedding Winters party only two hours away, Carly stood farther beyond the dune than she ever had, pleased with herself that she’d made it this far. Memories of her in Hunt’s arms, close to the spot, helped immensely, and she fought to keep her breathing calm. She wouldn’t try to get nearer the water now. Instead, toes in the sand, she planned to assess the surf, see if that worked. She’d look at it from a clinical point of view.Carly checked the fetch of the first wave that rolled in, determining the size of the wave easily with the old equation she’d been taught years ago. Wind speed times time times distance.

  Sounds a lot like a ride on a Harley.

  Funny how her mind kept strolling right back to Hunt. Equally frustrating was the dopey smile she discovered plastered to her face whenever the tall, blond, handsome SEAL popped up under her memory’s radar. She didn’t have to try very hard to recall how his hands felt on her, skimming her back, her stomach, moving slowly up her ribcage to her…

  She had to concentrate. She watched the fluff spray off the lip of the wave, remembered what it was like to be a floater, riding her board along the foam. She screwed her eyes shut, pictured herself on the face of the wave, carefully judging how far to push before being sucked under. The pitching lip of the wave a surfer avoided like the plague.

  She scanned the horizon and pushed down the dread that always accompanied thinking about that day, the moment her career ended and almost took her life.

  Her leg ached in tandem with the memory, and then a sharp, biting pain in her heart took the edge off.

  Maybe Hunt could help her.

  “No,” she said out loud. She couldn’t throw off one dependency for another. Healing herself was the only answer, as much as she wished it could be another, possibly more convenient way.

  Tonight, nothing would be convenient, because there was a pre-wedding party to be at and a lot of explaining to do when she didn’t show up with the SEAL.

  He’d been so angry that morning, stormed off, and she’d realized she still didn’t have a way to get in touch with Hunt. She’d have to spend the drive to the exclusive restaurant thinking up a good excuse for why her “boyfriend” wasn’t by her side. Truthfully, she hoped he was, so she could tell him about her progress today.

  For the first time since she could remember, she was reluctant to turn her view away from the water. A good sign.

  She walked slowly toward her house, grabbed her shoes from the bench on the portico where she’d left them next to her small bag and headed for her car.

  Hunt’s bike was in the driveway, looking very much at home. He was sitting casually on her front steps, and she hoped the hitch in her breath wasn’t audible.

  She’d mentioned that tonight’s event was formal, and he looked amazing in his tux—relaxed, as if he wore one as often as he did fatigues. His hair still fell on his forehead, making him look the part of the reckless bad-boy that he was. And she wanted nothing more than to hug him for coming through for her.

  “I wasn’t sure you’d be here,” she said instead, scraping the ball of her bare foot on the ground.

  “We made a deal. I’m hoping you stick to your end of it,” he said and stopped, letting her know he was dropping the subject, at least for the moment.

  She pushed thoughts of their argument to the back of her mind and focused on how good he looked. The tuxedo was cut and fitted to the man. Incredible, impeccable…She could also imagine how breathtaking he must look in his formal uniform.

  “Whose ride are we taking, anyway?” he asked.

  She looked between Hunt and the bike and as much as that would drive her sister just the right amount of crazy, the last thing she needed was to flash the Florida coastline.

  “We’d better take my car.” She motioned to her dress, a silky white strapless number she hoped would pass muster with her sister, but Hunt seemed more than aware of what she wore. Even moreso of what was underneath, if the look in his eye was any indication. She wondered how it was possible to be so angry with him one minute and so completely taken with him the next. Then she wondered if he was thinking the same thing about her.

  Carly had to face the fact that she didn’t know him very well at all in some respects. In others, she knew him very well. And she liked what she knew. Very, very much liked. Liked so much that she wished they had more time before leaving for the restaurant. And, as though he read her thoughts, he took advantage of the fact that her hair was swept up in a loose knot and kissed her neck, then tenderly, her cheek.

  “We’ve got a long drive ahead of us,” she said, smiling. “Are you ready for all this?”

  “Like I keep telling you, Carly, I’m always ready for anything.”

  HE WAS LYING, OF COURSE, but Carly didn’t know that. He ran a hand gently over her hair. “You look great.” More than great. Truly unforgettable in that dress, her shoulders bare and tanned, her skin so smooth. His hand lingered in the softness of her hair and he inhaled the scent of citrus she wore. “Almost too great.”

  “It’s all
about control, Hunt.”“I’ve got plenty of it. I’ll keep it in my pants. For the time being.”

  “Unless you want everyone to know what you’re thinking, I suggest you do more than keep it in your pants.”

  He couldn’t resist leaning forward to give her a soft kiss. “The party’s not for a while, and I’m just getting into character.” Getting into, and planning on staying in it, too, because tonight was all about distractions. He was going to try and have as much fun as he possibly could. And make it as much fun for Carly.

  He thought about telling her that he was going to get called out later and decided against it. Knowing that—how much fun could she have? Although he was going to get Carly back on her board. Maybe they’d get close again, too. The way she’d been looking at him when she’d found him on her doorstep implied that she wanted some of that same kind of luck.

  “You’ve got that look in your eye,” she said, motioning for him to get into her car.

  He thought for sure she’d toss him the keys, but she got into the driver’s seat and started the car. “The look that tells me you’re thinking very impure thoughts.”

  “Caught me.”

  “Me, too,” she said, offering him a warm smile.

  TY LOOKED READY TO BOLT again, and Sam now knew that wasn’t something he did often or willingly.

  He must have something on his conscience.“Hope I didn’t get you in too much trouble today,” he said finally. They’d been settled at her kitchen table for almost twenty minutes.

  “I’m the talk of the school. You made quite an impression on the students.”

  “I can imagine.”

  “They want to know everything about you. And so do I,” she said encouragingly.

  “Samantha, I don’t know—”

  “You promised me anything if I read you that fantasy,” she reminded him.

  He groaned. “That’s not fair. What you wrote, what you read, that would bring any man down. I’d have promised to sell my Harley the other night for the chance to hear you read it a second time.”