Dire Desires_A Novel of the Eternal Wolf Clan Read online

  “But I do.”

  “Gillian, please. I want you to walk away without hating me.”

  “I could never.”

  “I almost believe that.” He hung his head, stared at the carpet. He curled his toes, wishing it was fresh grass instead.

  It was too tempting to shift, to let Brother Wolf take the wheel on a more permanent basis. Brother couldn’t help the ghosts so they didn’t bother him. In wolf form, Jinx could run away from his responsibility, let the monsters run wild over the humans.

  But they would hurt wolves too, and other shifters and vampires alike. They would pervert the world and that would always be his goddamned legacy. Because he was easily tricked, like his father said.

  And so he told her about his family. About how he and Rogue trained as hard as any alpha Dire in the warrior ways. They had little choice in the matter, as it was done for survival. And their father, a proud beta, should’ve been even prouder of his alpha sons.

  “My father used to say that my mother was cursed before we were born and that’s why we came out being able to see the things we see.” Jinx paused. “He was right.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Jinx pressed his lips together, like he was trying to hold back the secret he’d held for a lifetime. From his twin, from everyone. But it was always in the back of his mind, and while the idea of never having a mate always concerned the others, for Jinx it appeared to be a blessing in disguise. It began to surface uneasily for him when Gwen appeared, but how often did lightning strike twice? “My mother was told by an old gypsy woman at the market that she was having twins. She tried to shrug it off, but the woman told her that the second one out would cause all the ruin. That we were both cursed with abilities that could ruin us. That we’d both know evil—that we’d court it. That it was in our blood.”

  The twin curse had been passed down for generations. Some said it came from a human superstition, others said it was a bad Dire omen. When twins were born, there was no birth celebration—no, the village was as somber as they were during a funeral dirge. And no matter why that superstition existed, Jinx and Rogue had always been regarded with suspicion. Which meant they always had to work harder, be stronger, better, faster than the other Dires they grew up with.

  Being saddled with a twin was bad enough, but then for both of them to have abilities? He was surprised his father hadn’t actually followed through with his threat to kill them once he’d found that out.

  The only ones who knew about their abilities were their parents. The twins preferred it that way. Jinx couldn’t have imagined the hell it would’ve brought down on their heads had anyone in the village found out they could see ghosts and spirits. That in itself would be proof enough that the curse of the twins was true.

  Their father thought so.

  At first, he’d tried beating it out of the young wolves. Daily. And all of that healed up, because it was made preshift. Once they shifted, any scars made by another Dire would’ve remained. But to this day, Jinx’s back ached where he’d been hit over and over with a belt, the buckle slamming his vertebrae. They were made to sleep outside to toughen them up. Those nights were the worst, because it was open market for the spirit world.

  “She never stuck up for us,” he remembered Rogue saying when they’d sifted through the rubble of their village, post Extinction, and found their mother’s body. He hadn’t sounded upset, but there was sadness in his tone. They’d been lucky to have each other. Jinx couldn’t have imagined going through it alone.

  Whether or not the other Dires knew about their torture, Jinx didn’t know. He’d certainly never spoken of it, preferring to shove it to the back of his mind and be grateful he didn’t have to go back to it. The Dire massacre had actually been something of a relief to him, something he never voiced aloud. He had no idea if Rogue felt the same way.

  “She couldn’t. Father would’ve killed her,” Jinx told Gillian. “He almost did a few times.”

  “Then he was an abusive asshole, not a warrior,” she said.

  That was the truth.

  Gillian was watching him carefully before she continued, “So you were an outcast, just like me.”

  “Ah, Gilly—”

  “There’s no Dire world left like the one you describe. No one to stop me from being with you because of things beyond your control.”

  “If you stay, you’ll get hurt. I can’t protect you.”

  “But you already have. Several times plus, by my count. You’ve been hiding too much from me,” she told him. “I can’t blame you for that, but my life’s an open book.”

  “Because you’re on the news,” he pointed out.

  “Because you broke me out of a mental institution to tell me I’m a wolf.”

  “Well, if you’re going to get technical about it,” he muttered.

  “Jinx, please. I’d like to help.”

  “You can’t. Trust me—if you could, I’d be eternally fucking grateful, but you can’t. You shouldn’t even be here.”

  “If it’s that dangerous, maybe you shouldn’t either.”

  “I have control of it.”

  “Of what? The ghosts?”

  He turned to her then and she actually took a step back when she looked into his eyes. “The monsters. For now, I have total control of them. But there’s going to come a time when the roles are reversed, and I don’t want you anywhere close to me when that happens.”

  Chapter 20

  After Cain and Cyd came back bloody and took the bodies of the Weres to Liam, Vice and the rest of the Dires went back inside the mansion. Killian boarded up the window so nothing could accidentally find its way inside and then they sat in the living room, all of them uncharacteristically quiet.

  Or maybe stunned was a better word. Even Harm, who looked like an arrogant shit on the best of days, managed to look worried. Whether it was for them or for Jinx, Vice didn’t know. He also didn’t know if it mattered.

  Finally, Killian said, “Why the hell did the Arrows give Gillian away?”

  “Only one reason makes sense,” Stray said quietly.

  “She has an ability,” Gwen murmured, finishing Stray’s thought. “How would they have known? The Blackwells have had her since she was an infant. Her baby picture’s been splashed all over the news. At most, she was a month, but I’d say closer to two weeks.”

  Stray answered, “She probably walked long before she was supposed to. Had to be a month old but presented closer to a year.”

  “And thought to be an abomination, just like me and Stray,” Killian added. “I don’t understand why the Elders would allow that pack to exist in such ignorance.”

  “Because they knew you guys and Gillian and Odin knows who else is going to be born from their bloodlines,” Vice said.

  “So Gillian was given to a human family instead of the Elders, who could’ve passed her to us?” Stray asked angrily and Vice closed his eyes and tried to picture the Eydis he’d known going along with something like Jinx’s scenario.

  “The Elders are more fucked-up than I am, and that’s saying something,” he finally muttered.

  • • •

  Cyd and Cain brought Liam the young Weres who’d been killed, apprised him of the situation. He’d remained inside after the panic started, and even though it killed him, he knew it was important for the king to remain alive and well. It was far too critical a time for another loss.

  He placed a call to their original pack, thanking their leader and informing them that justice had been done swiftly.

  “I’ll send you other wolves, Liam. And I’m grateful for your honoring Weres you’d never met.”

  “They fought bravely,” Liam told them. “And I’m grateful for your solidarity.”

  A few more brief words and he hung up.

  There would be more days of this—months, years, ev
en. And even though Cyd and Cain were weary of the outlaws and trappers, they were still primed for the fight. Now, they lay together on the couch, unwilling to split apart just yet.

  The blood bond of the fight was strong—none wanted to break it. But a knock on the sunroom door sent them all into action, Liam pushing his way there first to find a weregirl waiting.

  “What’s your business here?” he demanded of the dark-haired, pretty Were dressed in black leather pants and a white tank top with a pink bra underneath.

  He practically heard Cyd panting behind him but something inside of Liam was claiming possession of her, even as his mind said he was done with that kind of shit for a long time. Still, he opened the door and waited for her answer, his body seriously demanding he do more than just talk to her.

  He told his dick to shut up and waited for her answer as he waved away the other wolves.

  “You called for the head of the hunters,” she said, and he had, not more than four hours ago through a weremessenger.

  “You’re a Were.”

  She shook her head like he was the stupidest wolf alive. “You’re really the next king?”

  “I am the king,” he told her in a growl that shook the room and she had the good sense to take a step back and bow her head.

  She was a beta—he sensed that now, even though she’d come off as very alpha on first approach.

  “I’m Violet,” she told him, her chin raised in a show of pride or defiance or maybe both. “I want to join your pack.”

  “And leave the hunters?”

  “I’m not their leader.”

  “Then I didn’t invite you here.”

  “I don’t wait for invitations,” she told him. She was slim with cool green eyes that drew him in from this distance. Full Were.

  There were tribal tattoos circling both slim biceps. Other tattoos down her arms, words and symbols in black that Liam should want to take his time reading.

  Instead, he wanted her out. “You can go. I’m not taking visitors.”

  “You need me on your team.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “I can fight.”

  “I have plenty of fighters.”

  “Not ones who are as good as I am—no females. I’m your surprise.”

  He snorted. “Take it up with Cyd—he’s my alpha.”

  “I’m taking it up with you. I’ll fight my way in.”

  She turned on her heel to leave. Before she could get far, he grabbed her arm and she was trying her best to look calm—halfway succeeding. He had to give her credit since his reputation for bloodletting was growing to legendary status every hour that passed.

  “Tell your hunter leader that he made a mistake by not coming here to pay me some goddamned respect. Tell him I might have to teach you some while I’m at it.”

  “Maybe I’d enjoy that,” she bit out with a snarl, her canines lengthening a little and fuck it all, he was hard.

  “Maybe you should be careful what you wish for.”

  He let her go with that and she bounded off into the night, her white top glowing in the moonlight, the damned pink bra teasing him. He wanted to shift, run her down and yank it off with his teeth and dammit, it was happening.

  Where was all the control Vice taught him? He couldn’t tell if Vice would be proud or pissed but he didn’t care either way now that the wolf was in control.

  She still ran in front of him, unshifted, looking over her shoulder. She had to know she had no hope of winning this race and finally, her shirt flew in the air, like she knew she had to save her clothing so as not to walk home naked.

  She whirled around and held him off as she tugged off her heavy boots and her jeans. And then she simply stood there in her pink bra and matching lace pink thong, a large tattoo of a dragonfly fluttering delicately across her taut middle. Whirled around and kicked him in the face with a hard roundhouse kick that sent him backward and brought his wolf out hard.

  He forced it back, the way Vice taught him, but that came at a price. His anger would be uncontrollable if this Were continued to assert dominance by fighting.

  For a few moments, she did—when he caught her, she bit and kicked and scratched, her own wolf half out. Finally, she stopped struggling when he howled at the sky and threw her to the ground. Instead of trying to get up, she lay there, watching him. Waiting.

  He jumped onto her, pinning her.

  And she bared her throat to him.

  “I don’t care that you’re a woman. Do you get that?” He’d never be taken in by soft hair or a pretty face or general anatomy again.

  “Good. Think of me as your beta and we’ll be just fine.”

  He took her down, poised his open mouth over her throat, his canines elongated, ready to rip open her life force.

  Her pulse raced but she remained still, throat bared, submissive.

  She was fucking lying.

  He pushed off her. “Don’t ever come back here again.”

  She didn’t say another word and he fought not to limp all the way back to the sunroom, giving himself credit for never turning back no matter how badly he wanted to.

  He stripped in front of the bathroom mirror to survey the scratches from the beta. She hadn’t exactly held her own with him, fight-wise, but he hadn’t expected her to. Still, she hadn’t backed down and that, he hadn’t expected.

  “What the hell? A girl beat you down?” Cyd asked.

  “Can I have some privacy?”

  “You want that, close the bathroom door.”

  Liam glanced at Cyd. “I know you both researched her while I was gone, so what do we know about her?”

  Cyd smiled. “I knew you’d ask. But maybe we don’t have to have this meeting in the bathroom.”

  Liam complied, trailing the alpha into the living room where Cain waited with a file.

  “Violet used to bounty hunt for her old pack out in Wisconsin,” Cain started as Liam flipped through the papers. “There’s no details here about why she left—or whether or not she was kicked out, but after that, she started working with the hunters against the weretrappers. She passed for a while, and by the time they discovered she was wolf, she was too valuable to be let go.”

  “So why come to us?”

  “Why the hell not?” Cyd demanded.

  “We need a beta,” Cain added.

  “Forget it,” Liam said firmly and neither twin argued. “Find out why she left Wisconsin.” Because he would never let himself be burned by a woman again.

  Chapter 21

  It was three days until Jinx felt that all the drugs were out of his system. And he waited an extra few, just in case. By then, both his wolf and Gillian were climbing the walls. There was only so much the roof, fresh air and orgasms could do. And she didn’t understand why they weren’t having sex again—but he wasn’t about to talk mating with her. Not when she already had more than enough to deal with going on inside her head.

  A Dire wolf due for her first shift couldn’t be controlled—he could only hope for containment. Between the Dires and the goddamned hellhounds, he had coverage, but relying on hellhounds to keep monsters out of the way was the most perverse game he’d ever played. And yet, he was trapped inside of it with no way out for the foreseeable future and a potential mate running loose in the woods.

  The one thing they had going for them was that they weren’t likely to run into anyone looking for Gillian Blackwell in the woods, running naked.

  He had to let her run. Tell her that on her birthday, he would take her farther up, maybe even Canada to let her run, but he wouldn’t make a promise he couldn’t keep.

  But tonight’s promise already made her cheeks flush with excitement. She was practically vibrating on the ride over to the mansion. He parked in the garage and they went through the house and the tunnels, and she barely looked at anythi
ng. She was focused on the outside and nothing would deter her.

  It was quiet inside the house—he assumed the Dires were out running. Cain and Cyd had left him check-in messages a few times but he hadn’t returned the calls. Instead, he’d texted them.

  Rogue and Jez, he knew, were out in the cemetery, looking for any obvious issues with the monsters. Everything with the trappers had been quiet. And Cyd had personally vetted the woods for him tonight. Maybe he and Cain were out there, prepared to watch out for Jinx. He hadn’t asked them but he wouldn’t put it past them.

  Once in the sunroom, Gillian stripped, faster than he did and she took off. For a second he watched, mesmerized by her speed—and her beautiful bare ass—and then he snapped to, stripped, shifted and let Brother Wolf catch up with her. Or try to. He didn’t know if it was the drugs doing it or what but, dammit all, he was having trouble catching her.

  And the worst part was, he didn’t think she was going at her top speed. She kept looking over her shoulder, slowing to let him catch up and then eluding his grasp.

  He was so caught up in the game that he didn’t realize how far they’d gone. He couldn’t howl and expect her to stop, so he had to shift instead, which cost him. Thankfully, she slowed a bit and he waved his hands, called quietly, “Gilly, you can’t go any farther—time to turn back.”

  If she heard him, she ignored it, speeding up. If anyone tried to catch her on film and clock her time, they’d know for sure she wasn’t human. The speed with which she moved was incredible. Jinx would have to shift back to keep up and fully protect her from whatever dangers lurked in these woods, ones she seemed oblivious to.

  Brother had no problem with the quick shifts and finally, with effort, he caught her, running in front of her and waiting, forcing her to stop. She did so. Smiled. She wasn’t even out of breath.

  She’d let him catch her. He shifted and grabbed her by the waist as she giggled.