Dire Desires_A Novel of the Eternal Wolf Clan Read online

  She didn’t ask how he planned to do anything. He simply pointed to her pants. She slid them on and he knocked on the door.

  “She wants to walk with me,” Josh Todd said.

  The orderly looked between them. “Not without a major dose of tranquilizer.”

  No choice, the rustling said, but Gillian shook her head and backed away. Too many injections made her feel odder than she already did. She could barely get her equilibrium during the past six months to begin with, never mind the last five years that passed in a blur of sameness.

  Except for the escapes, the only time she could actually breathe, time had ceased meaning anything at all.

  This wasn’t going to go well at all. Josh Todd spoke to her in a low voice, but she lunged past him and threw herself at the orderly.

  She hated him and this place. Hated the visitor too, who’d promised her too much and then didn’t come through for her.

  So what was the point of sitting here like a good girl, telling them, “Oh no, I don’t need to go outside—I’ll just stay here.”

  The next time she left, she wasn’t coming back. The decision had been made but it would be on her own steam.

  The orderly was coming with a dose of tranquilizers and she didn’t want them. Even though the other man told her to take them, that they would help with the escape, she wouldn’t submit.

  Nothing inside of her ever truly would.

  Chapter 3

  This wasn’t going well. Jinx grabbed her and she fought less in his arms. But she still fought, which brought more orderlies and more drugs and she ended up strapped to the bed, drugged to the gills and unresponsive.

  And it was all his fault. Guilt, his familiar friend, rushed over him as her glazed eyes stared up at him.

  You promised, they told him. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, they added for good measure.

  “We’ll get out,” he murmured, squeezing her hand as his heart broke for how she’d had to live. He couldn’t imagine, although now he understood the dark look in Stray’s eyes when he talked about his time in solitary captivity. The people who worked here didn’t know how lucky they were—another few months and an episode like that would’ve killed them all. Might’ve come close today if not for his strength.

  “Can I push her in the wheelchair?” he asked. “She needs sunshine. Fresh air. And she wasn’t violent until you gave her the drugs.”

  The young female doctor was sympathetic but firm. “She’s hurt a lot of people. Her anger comes out of nowhere, so this is best for her as well.”

  No, it wasn’t, but the humans wouldn’t know that. “Okay, then. I’ll just sit with her.”

  “I’m sorry for what you saw, but she’s sick. She’s in the best place she can be.”

  That was the biggest crock of shit and for a moment, Jinx thought about shifting and watching the woman shit her pants. Instead, he walked back inside and heard the door lock behind him.

  Gillian was pointing weakly to the window.

  “We can’t escape through it,” he told her.

  But she shook her head.

  “She’s looking for the notepad,” the ghost said clearly, and Jinx couldn’t ignore it. He’d tried to since he walked in, and the woman had been pleasant enough, sitting on the windowsill in the hospital johnny, her hair tied in a neat bun. She looked to be about forty, was clearer than a lot of the ghosts he’d seen, which meant she’d been around long enough to cement her place in this world.

  And that was not a good thing.

  “I’m Lynn, by the way,” she told him.

  He walked to where Lynn had pointed and found that the windowsill was hollowed out underneath. He stuck his hand inside and pulled out a small pad of paper with an orb that could only be the moon drawn over and over, until thousands of orbs blended together to show how long she’d been trapped here, waiting.

  His heart ached for her. “I won’t leave you here another second.”

  Gillian blinked, but didn’t truly believe him, made evident by her whispering, “I won’t go anywhere with you.”

  “You will. And you’ll be better for it.”

  She rolled her head wearily to the side.

  He’d rather remain here strapped to the bed if it meant her freedom. And he did remain there for hours, checking in with Jez several times and getting no response, which was typical.

  When visiting hours ended, they’d have the cover of an early winter’s night and hopefully Jez would take his place in the car or else Jinx was leaving him here.

  He glanced around the rest of the room. There was a pile of well-worn paperback books in the corner, stacked up, obviously not thought of as dangerous.

  It was clear they were loved. They were stacked carefully, all their spines showing. She’d been as careful as possible with them, and he didn’t know if bringing them would make things worse or better.

  Instead, he took a picture of the stack.

  There was nothing else here of value. He shoved the moon drawings into his back pocket and looked up at Lynn. “What do you want?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Have you seen anything out of the ordinary here?”

  “Like me?”

  “Like a monster.” He bit back the word freak because somehow monster was less scary.

  “Oh, that. There was one here, but it’s gone. It left last night after those people came looking for it,” Lynn whispered conspiratorially, confirming his intuition. “It was one of the meanest-looking things I’d ever seen.”

  Great. For all he knew, it had followed Marley home. And that left him with only one job here today. “Just one?”

  “All I saw.”

  “What exactly did it look like?”

  “Smelled like sulfur. It was a black blur and it ran by too fast for me to see. It growled.”

  He would have to get Gillian the hell out of here with a distraction. He needed Kill. The man could manipulate minds, so it was either that or a violent breakout.

  Brother Wolf would prefer the latter for sure. But Rifter would have his head. And still, they were running out of time for any option to remain viable.

  “There’s a side door right here,” Lynn murmured. “If your friend opens it from the outside, you can walk out.”

  “And leave you here?”

  “I help,” Lynn said.

  “You don’t want peace?”

  “I’d rather give it to them.” It reached out and ran a hand over Gillian’s hair and the wolf murmured something, smiled. “I’ll pull the alarm. You go.”

  Jinx owed Lynn more, but he couldn’t force her to cross over. He waited for the alarm to blare and the mass confusion that followed.

  Gillian was crumpled in his arms and she remained that way until they reached the Dire mansion.

  Chapter 4

  After Vice left, Rogue couldn’t bring himself to do much of anything. He paced the floor, realizing he might never want to lie down again ever, and especially not on that damned bed.

  First order of business—burn the bed. Well, once the rest of the Dires knew he was up and functioning because they’d definitely notice a bonfire in the middle of the backyard.

  Still, he turned it on its side, because he could. It felt so damned good to actually move, to stretch, to have total fucking control of himself again.

  He glanced down at the healing wounds on his arms and chest, cursed the mare and rolled the stiffness from his neck. His Brother Wolf was slowing waking as well. When that wolf wanted out, Rogue wouldn’t be able to control him. It was almost like being a newly shifted wolf—he would have to relearn the controls, until Brother Wolf was satiated and well run.

  He stripped, began to pad toward the shower when he stopped cold.

  Jinx was coming—he was close—and he was bringing trouble with him. Rogue’s twin sense
was coming back strong, which meant Jinx was feeling him as well. He was also pretty sure that Vice would tell Jinx that he’d woken up, but he couldn’t blame the Dire for that.

  Vice would’ve done the same for him if the roles were reversed. And it made things easier, because what was Rogue supposed to do, ring Jinx up and say, “Hey brother, I’m back and you’ve really fucked up big-time.”

  So yeah, Rogue was awake and already keeping more secrets than one wolf should ever have to. There would be a price to pay for all of this, including not going to Rifter straightaway, but for the moment, Rogue reveled in simply moving forward, in the feeling of the shower prickling his skin—he’d taken three—and watching the deep scratches from the mare slowly heal up.

  What wouldn’t go away were the markings on the left side of his face. Those had come out because of Seb’s spell and they would be a party favor that would keep on giving, linking him to hell. He had no idea what those ramifications were, but wasn’t anxious to find out. He’d sprinkled salt around his windowsills already as a precautionary measure.

  After half an hour, he knew Jinx was closer to the house and he stepped out, dripping on the floor. He used his hand to squeegee the water out of his hair. No one had cut it while he was sleeping and he needed a haircut, never liked wearing it this long.

  He grabbed a pair of scissors and began to chop. Maybe he should wait until he could get a professional to do so, or maybe he should just start fresh. Completely, totally new.

  He hacked until his hair was an inch from his scalp, and then he grabbed the buzzers and went to work. After he’d cueballed himself, he noted that the markings were all along his skull as well. “Might as well not try to hide it.”

  It fit with the biker mode they had going on. Made his eyes darker.

  If anything, maybe the spirits would stay away from him when they saw he’d been marked by hell.

  • • •

  The deadhead drove as Jinx kept checking Gillian’s breathing, her pulse—which was racing—until Jez asked, “Are we just storming the mansion or are you calling ahead, wolf?”

  Shit. He pulled his phone from his pocket, keeping one hand on Gillian and dialed Gwen. The new queen had been most kind to him, calling to check on him. He was sure she wasn’t doing it behind Rifter’s back, but Gwen definitely had a mind of her own.

  “Jinx, what’s wrong?” she asked without saying hello.

  “I’m bringing a Dire wolf in.”

  “Who’s hurt?” she demanded.

  “No one you know. It’s a full female Dire.”

  There was a long silence and then, “I’ll open the garage for you. Come right into the clinic.”

  She hung up and Jinx directed Jez to park in the garage in between the Hummers and the Harleys and various other sports cars and classics. He moved quickly, with Gillian in his arms and Jez trailing behind him until he saw Gwen waiting in the hallway. She motioned for him to follow her and he did, placing Gillian gently down on the stretcher before backing away to give Gwen room to work.

  But for a long moment, Gwen simply stared down at her.

  “She’s full Dire,” she finally breathed.

  “Yes. She was in a psych ward.”

  “So she has no idea what she is?” she asked as she turned her full attention back to Gillian. “She’s pretty.”

  Jinx agreed, watched Gwen put two fingers on Gillian’s wrist as she placed the stethoscope on Gillian’s chest under her T-shirt. Jinx heard his growl, low, warning, before he could stop it.

  Gwen stilled and stared at Jinx, her canines elongated.

  “Jinx, you’ve got to back off and let Gwen check her. She’s not hurting her,” Jez said and when Jinx looked at the vampire, his fangs had come down too.

  “Jinx is feeling . . . protective,” Jez told Gwen and she stared between Jinx and Gillian. The bond was palpable, at least to Jinx and from the look on her face, she felt it too.

  She looked back at the vampire, who simply smiled.

  Christ. He stared at the floor, took a deep breath and tamped down that reaction because what the fuck? “Sorry,” he mumbled after a long, tense moment and Gwen went back to her exam.

  “Do you know if she’s been drugged like this for five years running?” she asked.

  “I’m assuming so, but maybe not as heavily. If they have her birthday listed correctly, she’s due for her first shift in three months.” Jinx went for the intercom. “Maybe Stray can look into her records.”

  “That’s a good idea,” Gwen said. “Because I have to know how bad her withdrawal’s going to be.”

  Jinx put his finger on the button but he hadn’t pressed it yet. Gwen went over to him and pressed, called up to Stray. “Come to the basement and bring your laptop. Stat.”

  Stray gave a sharp “Will do,” and she added, “Bring Killian.”

  Jinx looked at her with a furrowed brow.

  “Gillian might be from the Greenland pack,” she offered.

  “Right. They might know her.” His entire body tensed at the thought of other Dires coming down here, coming near Gillian. And it had to have shown, because Gwen asked, “Are you going to be able to hold it together?”

  “Of course he can,” Jez said. “What? I have impeccable hearing. It’s not just you wolves.”

  Gwen gave Jinx a lingering look and then went back to Gillian. She ran some IVs, explaining to Jinx, who’d been a medic in the Army, what each one was—he’d know what they’d do. It was nothing he wouldn’t have done for any of the Dires, nothing that could hurt Gillian. Rather, this could push the drugs out of her system, but not so fast as to cause a reaction.

  It dawned on him then. “You think her body’s addicted to the drugs?”

  “I don’t know. Can wolves get addicted? Don’t forget, this is all preshift,” she said. “I mean, our metabolisms are really too fast for drugs to stay in long, but this kind of exposure, day in and day out . . .”

  “She ran away for days at a time. And she always came back. Wouldn’t she have gone through withdrawals then?”

  “Maybe she was. Or maybe the wolf was urging her on. I can’t be sure, Jinx. But I’ll do everything to make sure she’s comfortable,” Gwen promised and Jinx believed her.

  He heard Jez at the door talking to Killian and Stray, and he could make out the bare-bones conversation that consisted of If you get close to her, Jinx will flay you.

  Message received, because Stray and Kill both gave him a warm greeting but stayed by his side when looking at Gillian.

  “Do you recognize her?” Jinx asked.

  “She’s got to be from the Greenland pack but I don’t recognize anything about her,” Stray said tightly. “Then again, if she’s not immortal, I might not ever have known her.”

  They both knew Stray wouldn’t have known her at all, the way he’d been caged and isolated by his family in Greenland. There was no love lost for that pack from anyone in this household.

  Kill walked to the end of the table and uncovered Gillian’s feet. Gently, he lifted the left and checked the heel, nodded as though he’d found what he expected. “There’s a marking here. A brand given at birth to everyone born to the Greenland pack, for tracking purposes.”

  Stray went to look at his own heel but Kill said quietly, “You weren’t given one. It’s a good thing, brother.”

  Stray’s brow furrowed. “I guess it is.”

  Kill recovered Gillian’s feet. “She looks like Arrow’s family,” Kill said decisively. “Are her eyes blue? Aqua?”

  “Yes,” Jinx confirmed.

  “That’s their signature. Never seen a color quite like it before. Arrow’s one of the nobility—their family’s been running the pack since forever. But this doesn’t make sense. She’d have been too young for any of them to detect powers. No prophecy on her. Why would they let her go like that?”
>
  “Stolen?” Jinx suggested.

  “Could’ve been,” Stray muttered. He had his laptop open and went to the corner where Gwen had a small desk set up. “Let me get on her records.”

  Jinx stroked the hair from Gillian’s face. Gwen had given a quick sponge bath to the unconscious Dire, so now her golden skin seemed to glimmer under the lights. She’d also brushed Gillian’s hair so it shone with health. But despite how healthy she looked, this would still be a rough road for her.

  “I’ve got to go,” Jinx told Gwen.

  “Rifter’s on his way,” she started but he shook his head. This was too hard—leaving her—without seeing his king again. He wasn’t ready, wasn’t accepted back and none of this was right.

  “Just take care of her. And keep me up-to-date.”

  “I will, Jinx.” She turned to the vampire. “You take good care of him or I’ll kill you myself.”

  “Impossible, but point taken,” Jez said dryly.

  Chapter 5

  The truck was halfway down the driveway when Jinx slammed out of the moving vehicle, ignoring Jez’s cursing. He was halfway across the yard in the dusk at record speed until he stood directly in front of his brother.

  “You’re not a fucking ghost, are you?” he breathed and Rogue shook his head, which was shaved and covered in markings on the left side of his skull and cheek. He wore a black wife beater and old jeans and he looked nothing like the wolf he’d grown up with.

  Everything about Rogue had changed, and Jinx didn’t know how he’d failed to notice the transformation over the past six months.

  Because you didn’t want to.

  “I’m very much alive,” Rogue said finally, his voice a rasp.

  “Vice said . . . he said you’d call. But you didn’t.”

  Rogue didn’t look surprised. “No, I didn’t.”

  “I didn’t feel you,” Jinx confessed.

  “It took for you to be close to the house before you were on my radar,” Rogue told him. “Maybe it’ll never come back for you. Maybe it’s not meant to.”