Beyond His Control Read online

  But it was too late. His expression hardened the way it had when he’d talked about his marriage. “No, you’re right, Ava. I don’t know anything about relationships at all.”

  “Justin, I didn’t mean…”

  But his hand was up and he was walking away. She knew better than to push it right now and yet, she did it anyway, followed him, grabbed his arm and yanked him around to face her.

  “You know what I remember, Justin? I remember being there for every single one of my father’s deployment days, before he made Delta Force. Those were hard enough. Waiting for him to get on the bus. Watching my mother try not to break down in the car. But after—after, when he couldn’t tell us, when every day with him left me wondering if he was going to be there when I got home from school, or when I got up in the morning…those times were even worse. And that’s what it would be like, wouldn’t it?” Her voice shook. Fear and anger and sadness combined to create a potent mixture of emotion that she could no longer hold back.

  “Some couples say it makes them closer. That they don’t waste time on all the day-to-day bullshit. That they appreciate each other more than people who don’t deploy.”

  “Oh, right. I know all about that. All about the fact that I’m supposed to pretend everything’s great and keep it all inside so I don’t send you away upset. I’m supposed to take one for the team.”

  “You’re not supposed to take anything, Ava. You’re not part of a team, my team. You’ve made that clear. I get it. I can’t convince you. I love you, you know that. But in this case, it’s not enough for you. And as much as I want to, I can’t change it.”

  “No, I guess you can’t.” Slowly she turned away from him and found herself walking out the door toward the woman she supposed was the DEA agent who knew Leo.

  “I’m Ava,” she said, and extended a hand toward the tall blonde who waited by the nondescript town car.

  “I’m Karen and you’re going to be fine,” she told her, then touched her shoulder reassuringly.

  Ava nodded, suddenly stoic. “I know I will.”

  Justin had followed her out; she could feel his presence behind her. But she didn’t turn back around. Instead, she pointed toward the car and Karen nodded.

  She got in, slammed the door and stared straight ahead before she lost what little was left of her resolve.

  SOMEWHERE DEEP in his heart, Justin had known from the beginning of this mission-gone-wrong that in order to save Ava, he’d have to give her up.

  He hadn’t known it was going to rip out his heart.

  He walked away from them and ran his hands through his hair.

  “Take care of her, Karen,” he said over his shoulder, hating the way his voice broke.

  “Nothing but the best, Justin,” she replied. He waited until the car was all the way down the driveway before sitting heavily on the edge of the porch.

  He wasn’t sure how long he’d sat there staring into space. It could’ve been a minute or an hour, but the numb feeling in his body wasn’t getting any better and his heart just freakin’ ached.

  The thought of driving himself out of here, back to base and then to deal with the fallout, seemed entirely too much, and he wondered what would happen if he just stayed here.

  A rustle from the woods made him look up to see Rev crashing through the bushes, carrying a sleeping bag and seeming no more the worse for wear from sleeping outdoors all night.

  “You stayed,” Justin concluded.

  “I stayed,” Rev agreed. “You did the right thing by letting her go.”

  “Then why do I feel like shit?” Justin asked.

  “Doing the right thing always hurts. That’s how you know it’s right.” Justin’s thoughts went immediately to Turk and Rev lit a cigarette. “I’m going to grab a shower, and then I’ll take you to base so you can check in.”

  Justin didn’t bother to argue. He merely nodded then took a drag from Rev’s cigarette and wondered if things would ever feel right again. He told him, “I’m not going to base yet.” Rev stopped walking toward the door. “She doesn’t want me. She just wants me to find Turk.”

  Rev sat back down next to him. “Any idea where he is?”

  Justin stared at the phone. “Yes, if there’s a way for you to trace this number.”

  “There’s always a way, Justin. Always a way.”

  16

  LEO PULLED his clean T-shirt and jeans on. He was stiff and sore as hell, but he was a million percent better, and the long, warm shower—with Callie—had helped.He took a quick inventory of his belongings. Phone battery—dead. Cash/Credit cards—zero. Bullets—two. Knife—one.

  A woman next to him he wanted to get to know a lot better. Check.

  Not terrible odds.

  “I have to figure some things out. For my work,” he said as he watched her towel the moisture out of her long hair. She’d perched on the edge of the bed, dressed in a black sweater and jeans. Her sneakers were already on, but whether she thought she was going with him or not was something he wondered while he waited for the inevitable questions. He even had some himself. But she kept silent. “I know why you were kidnapped, Callie. You’re involved in Susie Mercer’s disappearance.” It was the first time they’d discussed any of this since briefly mentioning it when they were being held at the O’Rourke compound.

  “I don’t know where she is,” Callie started. “Susie came to me about a month ago. She wanted to get out of her marriage. And she had a lot of information about her husband’s family she wanted to share with the D.A.’s office. I went to an A.D.A. that I’d worked with before—I knew she’d be sympathetic to Susie’s domestic issues—and that she could advise us on the information Susie had.”

  “And the A.D.A. did.”

  “There’s a grand jury hearing next week. Neither the A.D.A. nor I know where Susie went, but we promised we’d be there to meet her when she comes to testify.” Callie wasn’t lying about any of it. That he was sure of.

  “I’ll take you back. Make sure that you’re protected…”

  But she was shaking her head long before he’d finished. “You don’t understand, Leo. I’m not sure that I’m going back.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “With everything that’s happened, I might not be effective in what I do. I’ve been tagged. It’s not so much that I’m worried about the O’Rourkes. That will die down—no pun intended—once this whole Susie Mercer thing is taken care of. But the organization I work for could be exposed. And I can’t take that chance. They’ve all worked so hard.”

  “I’m not leaving you here.”

  “You don’t have a choice. Take the car—I won’t need it.”

  “Hey,” he said, but she’d already thrown the towel down and had started stuffing things into a bag. And she was ignoring him.

  He touched her shoulder, but she jerked away from him. “Please look at me, Callie.”

  “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

  “I’ll come back for you. Can’t you just wait here? Let me do what I need to do and then we’ll figure something out?”

  “You don’t even know me. Why would you want to do that?”

  “I don’t know. There’s something…something here. Don’t tell me you don’t feel it.”

  She bit her bottom lip again, the now-familiar gesture tugging at him more than it should. “I don’t feel it.”

  “I thought you’d be a better liar.”

  “I’ve never had to lie about that before.”

  Now, that he believed. Especially when she pulled away from him again and continued to tuck things into the black duffel bag. He asked, “Is there a phone I can use without attracting any attention?”

  “There’s a prepaid cell on the kitchen table. Feel free.” She turned to give him a small, tight smile.

  He’d figure this out once he’d made his call. He dialed the familiar number and Justin picked up on the fourth ring. “Where the hell are you?” his friend demanded.
>
  “Where are you? Where’s Ava?”

  “I’m in Virginia. Ava’s all right.” Justin paused. “She’s with Karen.”

  “The DEA has her?”

  “They wanted to put her under protection. She called them. Karen came and got her this morning.”

  “Get her back, Justin. I don’t care what you do or how you do it—just get her back.”

  “How the hell am I supposed to do that, Turk? Karen’s pissed at me and I’m in deep shit with my CO. In another few hours, I’m UA. And all Ava wants is for me to find you.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m not lost.”

  There was a long pause on the other end of the phone, and then he heard something in his best friend’s voice he’d heard before, a long time ago. So long ago he almost couldn’t place it. “Fuck you, Leo. Just fuck you, all right? And as long as you’re not lost anymore, clean up your own mess this time.”

  “Justin—wait.” Leo listened, didn’t hear the click, but still there was dead silence between them, and his friend’s anger was palpable. “I’m sorry, man. What happened? Did Ava give you a lot of hassle?”

  “Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

  Leo closed his eyes for a second and thought about the pain he heard in Justin’s voice. “You still love my sister.”

  “Why do you need me to get her away from the DEA?”

  “Answer me, Justin.”

  “Why? What does it matter now? Just tell me.”

  “I’m not letting you go UA. You’re right. I shouldn’t ask that of you. I’m not going to be the one who presses your back to the wall.”

  “It’s for a damn good reason, Turk. I’m just…it’s been a long couple of days.”

  “I think someone in the DEA blew my cover and leaked it, and Ava’s identity, to the O’Rourkes.”

  “It can’t be Karen.”

  “No, but it might be someone she’s called onto the case. I’ve been under for three months so I don’t know a lot of what’s happening back in the office.” He paced the floor as he gave Justin the location of the three safe hotels the DEA typically used as a first line of defense for people’s limited-time protection. He’d do everything to get there himself, but Justin and Rev were much closer—they could be at the hotels within an hour.

  And just like that, he and Justin were all right again.

  Now Leo clicked the phone shut and shoved it into his pocket. “Callie, look, I don’t think it’s right for you to stay here. I don’t have a choice. I’m going to take you back with me.”

  Dead silence greeted him, and he could tell by the feel of the house that he was the only one left inside of it.

  17

  THE HOTEL ROOM was a tight box. It came complete with a steel reinforced door, which the DEA installed in each of its special hotel rooms, and an armed guard who sat in the next suite. A spring-trap locked Ava from the inside, as if it would never let her out. She’d never been claustrophobic in her life, but here, she could definitely develop the phobia. And a few others, like extreme paranoia.At least it distracted her, momentarily, from the pain in her heart.

  All she had with her were a couple of pairs of underwear, three T-shirts, jeans and pajamas. One pair of cheap sneakers and the barest of bathroom essentials. Karen had promised her more soon, but all her time had been devoted to keeping Leo’s end of the mission going, and Ava was happy to have her comforts come second in relation to that.

  No one was going to give her comfort where she needed it most of all, though, and she’d been up half the night to avoid dreaming about Justin. She’d fallen asleep briefly that afternoon, right after she’d gotten settled in, and the dream was so real that she’d been sure he was right beside her in bed, his arms around her.

  She’d begun a slow pace around the room as she thought about Justin. Strolling around the bed and the small desk in a figure eight, she wished she could at least open the shades to let the outside world in, no matter that it was night.

  She was disoriented. And scared. And when the knock on the door came, she walked toward it briskly, more than grateful for the five minutes of companionship Karen would bring her. That, and hopefully news of Leo.

  But it wasn’t Karen at the door at all. “Ms. Turkowski, I’m Agent Coleman Harris. I’ve been working on the O’Rourke case with Leo and Karen.”

  He held up his badge so she could read it through the peephole. And then she opened the door.

  Coleman Harris was tall, with a shaved head, steel-blue eyes and a commanding presence. She wasn’t sure she felt safe anymore, although these days, safety was a relative term. But he held bags of food, and she was starved physically and for company.

  “Come on in.” She stepped aside to let him pass and he walked in but waited for her to lock up behind him. Then he set the bags down on the table in the corner of the room.

  “You must be hungry,” he said. “Sit and relax. We’re not changing hotel rooms for another couple of hours.”

  “Oh, right.” She’d forgotten that Karen had mentioned staying in the same place too long wasn’t a good idea, at least not until the grand jury proceedings next week. “Thanks for the food.” She sat at the small table and unwrapped a sandwich, but suddenly she didn’t feel much like eating.

  “You’ve had some tough times the past few days, but you really need to keep up your strength,” he said.

  “Have you heard anything about Leo?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “He hasn’t checked in. However, our reports indicate he’s gone from the O’Rourke residence.”

  “Okay, well, that’s something.” She thought it was slightly odd that Justin knew more about Leo’s location than the DEA did at this point, but maybe Karen was keeping a tight leash on everyone.

  “Karen wants me to take some notes on what you know about Susie Mercer,” he continued.

  “Oh. She didn’t mention anything about that.” So far, Karen had asked only the basics, but it made sense that they’d want to know more as they got closer to the grand jury trial.

  “I know you can’t tell us much, but if you could just give me a brief overview of how it all started…the DEA’s involved in the case now. It’s going to get complicated. We need to work together.”

  “Well, she first approached me in my office.” It had been late—after six—although Ava hadn’t been surprised to see the pretty woman at her door. There were a lot of people who wanted to bring their cases forward but were scared. Many of them waited outside the office all day trying to get their nerve up, only doing so when the place was nearly deserted.

  But Susie hadn’t been alone. “Susie came with Callie Stanton, she’s a social worker who first spoke with Susie.”

  “She’s also missing.”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, keep going.” Coleman made a few notes she couldn’t see on his pad and she shifted, uncomfortable being the one not asking the questions.

  Susie had been nervous, yet she’d told the first part of her story to Ava with such conviction that Ava had no doubt it was the truth. Instead of continuing the meeting in Ava’s office, they later met at Callie’s apartment, and Susie told them the story of her abuse and the way her husband tied in with the O’Rourkes.

  “In the beginning, it was glamorous,” Susie had admitted. “I was really young and poor and Robert showed me a life I never dreamed of. And for the early years, it was all right. I managed to pretend that what he did wasn’t illegal, wasn’t horrible.”

  “She gave us a lot of details about the organization. Things an outsider couldn’t possibly know. She was around for the day-to-day dealings. She had access to computer files.”

  Coleman shook his head. “The grand jury could see her as a vindictive woman out for revenge.”

  “There’s no way that would happen. Trust me,” Ava said.

  “Any word from Susie Mercer?”

  “No. But she’s supposed to show for the grand jury hearing next week.”

  “If she testifies, she can
break this entire case wide open.”

  “She can and she will,” Ava said. “Between what she knows about her husband’s dealings, plus the bigger picture…the O’Rourkes don’t have a chance.”

  “Susie took a huge risk running the way she did.”

  “She didn’t have a choice. She didn’t trust anyone.”

  “Neither did you. You could’ve gotten Leo killed.”

  “You don’t need to tell me that. Don’t you think I know that?” She shoved away from the table.

  “I’m sorry, Ava. I didn’t mean…”

  “Once I meet Susie, once she testifies, everything she says will only help Leo’s investigation.”

  “Do you know what she’s going to say?”

  “Some of it.”

  He leaned forward, elbows on the table, hands clasped together. “Ava, I know it’s privileged. But we’ve worked so hard on this case. Leo’s lived and breathed it for so long. If she’s got information that can bring the O’Rourke family down…”

  “She does,” she told him. “Even though her husband flew under the radar, he was still involved in all their corruption and worse. By using his company, they were able to work on a much larger scale.”

  “So they were laundering money through Mercer’s company.”

  “Seems so. Susie said she had specifics—paper trails and more.”

  “She couldn’t have gone too far.”

  “Leo always said the best hiding places could be found close to home,” she said.

  He nodded, looked toward the door and frowned. “You’ve got valuable information.”

  “It’s privileged. And secondhand.”

  “But if Susie doesn’t show?”

  She swallowed hard. “There are other witnesses I could call. Again, they don’t know nearly as much as Susie and it’s secondhand information, too.”

  Coleman Harris sighed. “We’ve put in a long time on this case. I’d hate to see it go up in smoke.”

  “It won’t,” she assured him, wondering why she was plagued by such an overwhelming feeling of unease.

  “You’re a very brave woman. Leo always said that about you.”