Beyond His Control Read online

  “It’s my job.”

  “What you did was above and beyond.”

  “Maybe. But Susie’s part is more dangerous than mine.”

  “You could easily be used to draw Susie in,” Coleman said, even as he stood. She did the same, automatically. “She’s not going to show herself until she sees you.”

  “Or Callie Stanton,” Ava admitted. “She was taken by the O’Rourkes around the same time that Leo was made.”

  “It’s time to move you now,” Coleman said.

  “But I thought—”

  “We’re doing things a little off schedule to keep everyone on their toes.”

  “I’ll just grab my things then,” she said, unable to shake the dread bearing down on her. And while Coleman made a quiet phone call, she wished she had her own weapon.

  “Agent Harris, I’d like to speak with Agent Karen Hamilton before I go.”

  He stared at her for a second, and she waited for him to tell her no, that wasn’t possible. Instead, he gave her a small smile. “Let me grab her for you.”

  He left the room and she continued packing the few belongings she had and then she waited, sitting on the edge of the bed.

  After fifteen minutes, she picked up the phone and did something she’d been told not to do. She dialed Justin’s cell-phone number, and let it ring until the knock at the door startled her.

  She hung up quickly and walked over to peer through the peephole. She saw Karen’s ID and opened the locks. Her brain told her, wrong, a second too late, and Agent Harris and another man easily pushed their way inside.

  “What’s going on here?” she demanded, although, in the face of the guns they held on her, she knew that wasn’t going to get the answers she wanted.

  Coleman Harris spoke as he grabbed her bag off the bed. “It’s time to move hotels, Ava. And Mr. O’Rourke and Mr. Mercer will both be very pleased to see you. Unfortunately, your brother and your friend won’t be able to make the party. Or any other parties. You, however, have proven to be even more valuable than we originally thought.”

  18

  THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY no place for Ava to run to. Instead, she took two steps back to put some distance between herself and the two men, even as one of them barked for her to stay put.She didn’t obey and took another two steps back. You’re too valuable for them to kill you.

  At least, not yet. Until Susie took the stand, Ava was a hot commodity. “What the hell do you want from me?” she asked in an attempt to stall.

  “You know exactly what we want.” Coleman Harris closed the distance between them. Too close. She couldn’t let him touch her.

  “You’ll never get me out of here.”

  “It’s my job to escort you to the next hotel by whatever means necessary. So you can see just how simple this is going to be.”

  She saw a syringe in his hand and took another step back. She hit the wall and could go no farther.

  “Just grab her and let’s get out of here,” the second man growled. “This job is screwed up enough as it is.”

  The click of a gun made Ava start, made the two men in front of her freeze.

  She hadn’t heard the door open, had never, ever expected to see Justin behind them. A cold hard look of determination enveloped his face.

  “Drop them,” was all he said, and the men didn’t have a choice. Mainly because Justin had a gun in each hand.

  He was not fooling around, and she forced herself to stay upright. Now was not the time for a distraction.

  Each man took the magazine clip from his gun and tossed it first, then dropped the weapon.

  “Grab them, Ava,” Justin instructed. She did so, gathering up the pieces and backing away from the men as the commotion in the hall increased.

  Within minutes, Karen was in the room, her own gun drawn. “Are you all right, Ava?” she asked.

  “Yes, I’m fine.”

  Karen was only half listening, was too busy staring at one of the men. “Agent Harris?” she asked, but there was really no question.

  “Agent Harris?” Justin repeated as Karen helped him to cuff the men. Karen nodded and motioned to the men at the door.

  “Take these two away. House them separately. I’ll be the one interrogating each of them,” she said. Once the door closed behind them, she turned to Ava. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

  “Yes. But I don’t understand…What does this mean?”

  “It means we’ve caught the leak in our department,” she said. “The one who blew Leo’s cover.”

  “So it wasn’t me. Wasn’t my fault, then?” she asked.

  “No, it wasn’t.”

  “Callie…oh my God, have you heard anything about her or about Leo?”

  “Leo’s all right. So is Callie,” Justin spoke before Karen could, but even so, Ava noted the daggers aimed straight at him coming from Karen’s eyes.

  “Good, that’s good,” she murmured, hadn’t realized she’d been slowly sinking to the floor until Justin’s arms wrapped around her. She pressed her face to his chest and held on for dear life and just inhaled and exhaled, like he told her to.

  One minute, she was merely breathing and the next, she was kissing him and wouldn’t let go, not even when she heard Karen calling out her name first, and then Justin’s. And then Ava heard the door shut again and she lost herself in the taste of him. Her hands ruffled through his hair, ran down his back and arms, as though she was checking to make sure that he was really here.

  “Justin,” she said against his mouth. “Please hurry…”

  She wasn’t sure what she was begging for, exactly, beyond his body on hers, but he was anxiously pushing himself away from her even as she pressed herself more closely to him.

  She didn’t care that a force of DEA agents were right outside the door. She only cared that she had Justin here and now and she was in his arms.

  That was all that mattered, what it all boiled down to.

  Justin didn’t seem to care that people were outside the door, either, not the way he was tugging at her jeans and pulling off her top, whispering, “Beautiful, always so beautiful, Ava.”

  No, nothing else mattered but the heart-stopping way he took her—as if she was already claimed as his and there was no going back. His hands traveled along her back, bringing her against his body even as she was helping to take off the rest of his clothes.

  He kicked his jeans impatiently off his feet and to the side and then there was no further barrier between them. His tongue teased hers and then his kisses deepened, until she knew she’d lose her balance if she let go of him. Her fingers dug into his shoulders and he lifted her so she was legs off the ground and wrapped around his waist.

  One swift move and they were on the bed, limbs entwined, Justin entering her, moaning that he couldn’t wait.

  They’d been separated for just under twenty-four hours, but her body took him as if he’d been gone for much longer. Her legs remained locked around his waist, forced him more deeply inside her. It was obvious that neither of them would last long based on the near-frantic coupling, and she wasn’t surprised when her own orgasm gripped her quickly. Justin’s wasn’t far behind, and the look on his face was one of complete peace and pleasure. His eyes were closed and a smile of contentment played on his lips.

  She lay there under his weight, momentarily spent but nowhere near satiated, one hand stroking the back of his neck as his face pushed against her shoulder, his body still buried in hers.

  There was movement outside the door. Her arms tightened instinctively around Justin’s back, even as he lifted his head, to call out, “Don’t come in here,” in a tone so full of authority that all talk outside the door stopped.

  “Justin, we need to—”

  “I said, not right now, Karen.”

  There was no further argument. And so he turned his attention back to her, smiled in a way he hadn’t done when she’d left him at the cabin.

  He’d forgiven her. There was no way he could look at
her like that, the way he used to when they were teenagers—the way he had after he’d made love to her for the first time the other night—and not love her.

  But before she could ask him anything, a familiar phone began to ring and the tension in the room immediately grew between them.

  Justin rolled away from her, searching the floor for his discarded jeans. He glanced at the phone and then back at her before he flipped it open.

  “Brandt,” he said and turned his back to her. She saw the change in his posture. “Yes. I understand, sir.”

  He turned back to her. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what? Because you have to go?”

  “For everything. For you and me, the fact that nothing happened sooner than it did.”

  “But it’s happened now.”

  He shook his head. “I’ve got to go. Another hour and I’m UA.”

  “Is that what the call was about?”

  He stared at her for a long moment, as though trying to memorize the scene. “No, that’s not what they called to tell me.”

  He wasn’t just being called in, he was being called in for duty. Moving out to parts unknown. All of them dangerous. None of them anything she could know about.

  “I’m sorry,” he repeated as he pulled on the rest of his clothes.

  She put hers on as well, even as she tried to pull him toward her again, to regain that moment they’d just lost in the space of a few seconds.

  “We can’t do this. Not again.” He held her at arm’s length until she jerked out of his grasp.

  “You came back here to get me. You can’t tell me that what just happened didn’t mean anything.”

  “Of course it meant something…it meant everything. But I’m trying to save both of us from unnecessary heartache,” he said. “And as hard as I try, I can’t make it work for you.”

  “You’ve saved my life once already. You can do anything.”

  “But I can’t, Ava. I’m just a man.”

  “You’re not just anything.”

  “Yeah, I am. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to be—just some woman’s man.” He smiled, but it was small and tight and his handsome features were pulled taut, showing his pain.

  “I love you,” she told him. Because she did, and because that had to count for something. For everything.

  “You don’t love me. You love the old me. And I’m not him anymore.”

  It was happening again. The same words. The same two people. She forced herself to stay glued to the spot in front of him and not walk away. Tears welled in her eyes because she didn’t want to be apart from Justin anymore. She’d tried it for years and it obviously never worked.

  “Why are you saying this? You know you’re in love with me. I heard you say it to me, even though you thought I was already asleep.”

  He didn’t deny it. “I guess sometimes that’s not enough,” he said quietly.

  “So that’s it? This is just over? You’re going to walk out of my life—again? Just like you did nine years ago?”

  “Twenty-four hours ago, you walked out of mine. You made your decision. You tried it all on for size and decided that it couldn’t possibly work for you. And I’m all for trying to accomplish the impossible, but there are only so many times I can bang my head against a brick wall before I learn. And I’ve learned, Ava. Dammit, I’ve finally learned.”

  His voice was so raw sounding, his posture unrelenting. “Justin…”

  “I’ve got to be back at the base. In an hour, I’m UA,” he repeated. “I’ll make sure Karen takes you to the next hotel. Until it’s time to testify, I’m guessing you’re still in this. Still needing protection. I just can’t be the one to do it anymore.”

  He hesitated for a second, then pulled her against him again, kissing her, hard and desperate, before walking out the door. And she wondered why, for the first time in her life, she felt like she was admitting defeat.

  19

  “YOU’RE GOING to catch your death of cold out here, walking in this weather. You should have let me pick you up closer to the house.” Serena fussed over Callie, who sat wrapped in a blanket. Serena had been fussing since she’d picked Callie up hours earlier at the edge of town in the pouring rain.“It’s May. No one catches their death of cold in May.” Callie punctuated that sentence with three sneezes and avoided glancing at the mother figure who would surely be glaring at her with the I-told-you-so look.

  “Drink this tea. All down, no arguments.” Serena sat opposite her on the couch. “Where did your green-eyed man go?”

  Callie almost told her that his name was Leo, but decided against it at the last minute. She liked being the only one to have that piece of information. “Back where he came from.”

  Back where she wasn’t going. She’d called Ava a few times but hadn’t left any messages. It was probably better that way—a clean break. Callie could move on to the next town or city and pick up where she’d left off. Just another harried social worker doing her job.

  “And you’re not going to see him again? Just going to sit there and moon over him?”

  “It’s ridiculous, Serena. I’ve known him…scratch that, I knew him for all of twenty-four hours.”

  “I knew my ex for ten years before anything happened and look how that turned out,” Serena reminded her. “Time means nothing. It’s how you feel that counts.”

  “It’s just…not the right moment for this.”

  “Love is supposed to be inconvenient, honey.”

  “I’m not talking about love, Serena,” Callie protested.

  “Sure you are. You just don’t know it yet. So drink your tea and rest.”

  “I don’t even know anything about him,” she mumbled obstinately at Serena’s retreating back. But she did know the way his body felt against hers, the way he held his breath for a minute when he came. The way he hadn’t looked at her with anything but admiration on his face when she’d told him what she’d been doing with her life.

  “You’re not going to be able to keep this up forever,” Serena had told her earlier.

  “What do I do then?” she’d asked.

  “You become part of the chain. A simpler part. So you can have a life. You deserve that.”

  Last night she could have sworn Leo was outside the house, leaning against the fence. She hadn’t told that to Serena.

  Sometimes, if you want something badly enough, you can almost make yourself believe it was true.

  And that was exactly what had happened between her and Leo.

  What he’d awakened inside of her in such a brief period of time was something she wouldn’t be able to fit into the neat little world she’d created for herself. The one where love existed only for other people, not her, and the one where she existed to help women put their lives back together again.

  Maybe it’s time you put your own life together.

  She closed her eyes and let her mind drift to the memory of being back in the safe house, lying next to Leo…

  The first time she came was almost painful—exquisitely so, because she couldn’t remember the last time her body had contracted like that. She’d collapsed, forehead against Leo’s chest, his arms around her, but he wasn’t done. In fact, she hadn’t stopped shuddering before he was thrusting his hips up to drive himself into her again, was murmuring her name as if saying a prayer only he could understand.

  And suddenly, nothing else mattered but the two of them together on that double bed that held the dreams of so many people who’d been there before them.

  It was a lot like the time she’d gone on the big roller coaster when she was too young to do so. She was thrilled and exhilarated, heart in her throat and white-knuckling it all the way.

  Now she sneezed again and again, and was actually grateful that she could blame her watery eyes on a cold, rather than a newly broken heart.

  ARMED WITH the information from Justin, Leo called Karen and told her not to move Ava until he’d arrived.

  A few hours later, he knocked on
the door and waited for his sister to identify him through the peephole.

  Within seconds, the door was open and she was hugging him and yelling at him all at the same time. When he pulled back, he noted she’d been crying, but the tears weren’t fresh ones shed for him.

  He had a pretty good idea who they were for, though. But first things first. “Are you all right? You’ve been through hell.”

  “I’ve been through hell? Look at you—your face—who did this to you?” she asked, even as she yanked him over to the bed and sat down next to him.

  “Part of the job,” he said. “I’m sorry, Ava. Sorry about everything.”

  “You didn’t know,” she said softly. “I’m just so glad you’re okay. I was really worried, but Justin—he always knew you’d be all right.”

  “Yeah, well, best friends are like that.” He saw the flash of pain in her eyes. “Your friend Callie—she’s all right, too.”

  “You were with her?”

  “She was a big help in getting me out of trouble,” he admitted.

  She smiled. “Sounds like her. Where is she now?”

  “She’s, um, missing. Sort of. Took off on her own. But I’ll find her.”

  “Why? I mean, I want you to, but is she still in danger?”

  “Only from herself. Kind of like you.”

  Ava punched him in the arm lightly. And then she paused and stared at him, eyes narrowed slightly. Lawyer mode, like she’d been doing since they were little. “You like her.”

  “She’s all right.” He stretched out his legs on the bed and realized how much he missed sleeping.

  “No, I mean, you really like her. Does she know?”

  He thought about the way she’d stared at him right before she disappeared. “Yes, she knows.”

  They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Ava spoke again. “She sometimes mentioned moving to Ohio. Some small town. She said it was peaceful. Nothing like New York. Do you think that’s maybe where she is?”

  “Could be.” He put his head against the pillows and wondered if she’d only gone as far as the next house or the edge of town. Yeah, as if it would be that damn easy to find Callie. “She’s a tough one, isn’t she?”